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What did you eat?

  The Sun was parted so only 80 degrees worth of heat rained down on LAX, where a pilot was devising a prank with clearly foreseen and broadly evident dividends. He advised half the flight, 125 passengers, to buy all of the Chilli at Barney’s Beanery in (Terminal 2), then to return to Tom Bradley’s Terminal B where he’ll medicate them, in a way, with Ex-Lax just before entering the inescapably pressurized subsonic tin can. The knowledge was an open-source journal broadcast by the pilot, his minions knowing the time to change flights had passed with Disney’s rights to Steam Boat Willy. But in secret, the unserious half of the stewardesses would plant Ex-Lax in everyone’s food at the orders of the Pilot. As the Boeing 787 took off, stomachs bubbled and churned louder than the turbines. All the toilets were occupado as hundreds of passengers writhed in excruciating bowel pain, twisted bowels simply seeking relief in release. The jokers quickly realized that something was wrong, but th...

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